Coulgate Street restaurant is coming

An application to open the new Coulgate Street unit right next to Brockley Station as a bar and restaurant has been lodged.

The proposal is to extend trading hours to 11pm seven days a week and to allow it to operate as a restaurant and bar, rather than retail.

Like me, the glass-fronted unit has surprising depth. It would suit a decent-sized restaurant, offering something which the Coulgate Street mix is currently missing. With Browns, The Broca and this place spilling out on to the part-pedestrianised street, it is the closest thing we're ever going to get to a piazza.

Thank you to Paul for the tip off.

Cinetopia Presents Monochrome Modern

La Haine, Oct 13
Gill from Deptford film club Cinetopia writes:

Cinetopia returns with a season of six great black and white films made in the age of colour.

Despite the dominance of colour, black-and-white films have never really gone away and in recent years there’s been a resurgence of directors choosing black-and-white over colour.

Cinetopia invite you to join us for six monochrome masterpieces made between the seventies and the noughties. Screenings take place every month starting Thursday 13 October.

The films:

· La Haine. 13 Oct
· Ida. 10 Nov
· Manhattan. 8 Dec
· The White Ribbon. 12 Jan
· Radio On. 9 Feb
· The Last Picture Show. 9 Mar

Where: Out of the Brew, 306 New Cross Road
When: Film starts promptly at 8.00pm.
How much: £5.00 on the door.
No pre-booking. Limited space. First come first served.

Greater Brockley's most haunted

Immersive theatre group Teatro Vivo returns with a production called The Residents, which exploits on our darkest, most primitive fear - house prices. They say:

As the dark winter nights draw in, Teatro Vivo is inviting audiences to their most intimate show yet: a house viewing with a difference.

After staging Shakespeare in Sainsbury’s supermarkets, Mother Courage in an old weapons factory and The Odyssey on the streets of Deptford, where they performed everywhere from tattoo parlours to pubs, the acclaimed company who have a reputation for staging “theatre where you least expect it” will be inhabiting a different secret south London home each week.

In The Residents the audience, of up to 30 people a time, will become house hunters.  They will be told their appointment time and the nearest train station, but will not be given the exact location until the day of the show.

After meeting estate agent, Amelia Spoke, they will enter the property and hear previous inhabitant’s stories, discovering how disturbing echoes of a places past can be felt in the present.

From a murderess who disposes of her husband, to the bizarre tale of a man who woke up one morning transformed into a beetle, and a carer who is badly in need of care herself, the audience will experience the perturbing tales of those who have resided there before.

Each location will incorporate echoes of its history through the voices and sounds of the real-life neighbours.

With the help of an immersive soundscape, a tapestry of stories will emerge allowing the bricks and mortar currently standing on the space to tell their story.

Inspired by the latest discoveries in gravitational wave technology, that open up the possibilities of multiple universes, new ways at looking at time and how the past and future collide together, The Residents will encourage the audience to consider who came before and what they may leave after they have gone.

Not suitable for under 12s.

The Residents will be directed by Sophie Austin. Sophie has worked for The Royal Court, the Young Vic, Told by an Idiot, and Sonia Friedman Productions. She is artistic director of Teatro Vivo.

LISTINGS: The Residents Monday 14 November - Saturday 3 December. Mondays - Fridays, 7.30pm. Saturdays, 3.30pm, 6.30pm & 8.30pm.

Tickets £14 / £10 concs. Ages 12+.  Booking: www.thealbany.org.uk | 020 8692 4446 | The Albany, Douglas Way, Deptford, London SE8 4AG.

Ladies who launch election bids

 
The Women's Equality Party has announced Rebecca Manson Jones as its candidate for the Brockley by-election on October 13th. They say:

“We are delighted to announce Rebecca as our candidate for Brockley, We’re looking forward to speaking to women - and men - across the district about our policies on equal parenting, equal pay and flexible working, because we know that equality makes life better for everyone.

“Rebecca has rich experience of community activism in Lewisham, and will bring her understanding, wit and warmth to consideration of everything from local libraries to conservation of green spaces. She is a champion of the arts, and I know she will throw herself with her customary passion into working to enhance community life across the borough.”

Manson Jones, a local theatre director, has led work promoting access and diversity in the arts for many years. “Lewisham is changing and it’s time we put gender equality at the heart of our council,” she said. “The Women’s Equality Party is leading this change - our values, our policies and our funds are crowd-sourced from our members and supporters, and our aim is to make London the first city in the world where women and men are equal.”

“I plan to bring a fresh perspective to the council, using the WEP approach of non-partisan, collaborative working. But I am also determined to make change: London has the highest rates of sexual violence in the UK and I will work tirelessly to make sure Brockley’s streets are made safer for women.”

Will WE make herstory in Brockley by winning their first-ever Council seat or will the middle class ladies party's brand of identity politics struggle for relevance at a time when the Council is wrestling with budgets that have been cut to the bone?

Fossil Hunting

Fossilite writes...

Last month our vintage street sign (above) was ripped off the wall on the corner of Fossil Road and Brookbank Road, Ladywell. If anyone spots this sign for sale locally, or on the internet, could they please let me know via Brockley Central? It was a little shabby but residents were very fond of it and would be keen to have it back.

The White Hart, 184 New Cross Road

Photo via their official Twitter
The new-look White Hart is open. Externally, the pub is little changed, but internally, it's undergone extensive renovation thanks to its new owners. It launched over the weekend, but the kitchen is not yet ready. Big and classically-styled, it looks like another strong addition to New Cross' bar scene.

Please post your reviews here.

The Lewisham Job Fair, October 6

Job seekers in Lewisham are invited to register for the 2016 Lewisham Job Fair taking place on Thursday 6 October, 12 noon–7pm and Friday 7 October 11am–4pm at the Civic Suite in Catford.

The two-day long Job Fair will provide a one-stop shop for a wide range of Lewisham residents aged 16 or over looking for employment, apprenticeships and work experience as well as advice on careers, training, development and education. Types of jobs on offer will include roles in transport, care, couriering, logistics, cleaning, security, retail and tourism.

Over the two days visitors will be able to:

· speak directly to employers including: Barclays, British Army, DHL, Lewisham and Greenwich NHS Trust, Premier Inn, Thames Water and Waitrose
· book a one-to-one CV clinic, get career advice from the National Careers Service and search for jobs online
· attend workshops including how to: market yourself to employers, prepare a CV that works, market your social media profile more effectively and starting your own business.

To register your place online visit www.lewisham.gov.uk/jobfair or register in person on either day.

Somerville Adventure Playground

Sue writes:

Somerville Youth and Play Provision on the border between New Cross and Peckham, is the only adventure playground in the area and has been maintained as a labour of love by local people for over 40 years. This weekend, after its latest refurbishment, it reopened to the public.

Somerville is a safe, supervised free access space for the entire community offering the young people of the area fantastic opportunities. This summer alone, Somerville has taken kids on sixteen off-site trips.

Under the stewardship of Bradley Cummings - who was a Somerville regular as a child - the ambition is to become a place where young people can learn vital skills for the future, discuss problems and issues they are facing and get much needed support in all areas of their lives.

For details click here.

The South East Makers Club Trail Weekend

The South East Makers Club Trail spans Greater Brockley
The London Design Festival comes to Brockley this weekend. The South East Makers Club writes:

To celebrate the final weekend of The London Design Festival 2016, we invite all design enthusiasts to head south and follow our trail through the creative streets and studios of South East London. The journey takes place on the 24th-25th September and spans Deptford, Brockley, New Cross, and Peckham.

The trail includes a host of workshops, exhibitions, films, a craft and design market and even a designer pub quiz hosted by Tom O’Dell and our media partners, South East London Journal.

For full details of the trail, click here.
Thanks to the event's supporters

Loampit Vale housing revealed

Another local bit of brownfield land is to be developed. Housing Association Family Mosaic says:

We are pleased to announce that we have acquired a new site in Lewisham to develop 49 new homes. The Loampit Vale site will provide 18 homes for social rent, 19 for private sale and 12 available through Shared Ownership.

The site was purchased from Wyberton Homes in May 2016 for £3.4 million and is located at 87-89 Loampit Vale. The new development will be designed by Alan Camp architects.

Once complete, it will be transformed from a brownfield site and builders yard into a desirable place for Londoners to live.

BCer Marc notes: "It seems work will only start in a years time which is a shame as it’s a big fly tipping zone."

Ayers graces Sids

Roy Ayers joins the Brockley panoply.

Adventure X, November 19-20


Gaming festival AdventureX will be coming to Goldsmiths in November.

The UK's "only convention dedicated to narrative-driven gaming" is a free event bringing together developers & gamers with an interest in graphical adventures; interactive fiction; exploration games; visual novels.

Click here for more details or turn to page 345 to brandish your broadsword at the manticore.

Southern proposes one fewer rush hour train from 2018

Southern Rail has published a consultation document regarding services from 2018, when the London Bridge upgrade is completed. The reward they're offering Brockley commuters for the years of disruption they have experienced is a reduction in service from 5 trains per hour during peak time to 4 trains per hour. All Brockley services will terminate at London Bridge.

The reduction in peak time capacity is likely to be offset by two more East London Line trains from 2018, but given that this route is already hugely overcrowded and usage has been growing fast, it would be a shame to lose an overland train.

The consultation states:

"Analysis has also revealed that passengers travelling from stations between Norwood

Junction and New Cross Gate in many cases travel beyond London Bridge to stations such as London Charing Cross, London Blackfriars and City Thameslink. Whilst this route ranked third in terms of passengers travelling to Thameslink stations, London Overground are expected to operate additional services to meet this demand. Introducing Thameslink trains on this route is not appropriate due to the direct interaction with other high frequency trains on the East London Line and a lack of suitable turnaround facilities. 

"Alternative high frequency Thameslink and Southeastern trains will be available at London Bridge where passengers will be able to easily interchange, for onward destinations, between trains using step-free access." 

On the up-side, there is also continued recognition that the Crofton Park service needs improvement, with the consultation noting:

"The Catford Loop line generates significant passenger demand but currently is only served by two trains per hour throughout the day. It is recognised that this route requires a more frequent service than is currently provided."

In 2021, TfL will take control of these routes and save us from Southern.

Labour leaves it to McGeevor

MacGruber: Your god can't save you, but I can.
- MacGruber
McGeevor in white, next to Brockley MP Vicky Foxcroft
The Labour Party has selected its candidate in the Brockley by-election on October 13th: Part-time communications manager and history PhD student Sophie McGeevor.

The Ashmead Primary School alumnus says:

"If elected as councillor I would resist any attempts to academise Lewisham schools, find innovative ways to improve recycling rates in our borough, fight for genuinely affordable homes to buy and rent and raise awareness of the devastating impact of austerity on social care provision.”

Lib Dems plot Brockley political Deanasty

Dean: Hello, I'm Dean Peterson, but you can call me Bobby. I just want you to know if you ever feel stressed out from studying or whatever, I'm always up for some hackey sack. Or, hey!  If you just want to come by and jam, I used to be the bass player for the Pretenders.
- The Simpsons

The LibDems have selected their candidate for the upcoming Brockley by-election. They say:

Bobby, a former Goldsmiths student who has lived in the area since he joined the university, says he is determined to stand up for “Generation Rent”. He works for international development charity, Restless Development, who help young people find their own way out of poverty across the globe.

The Lewisham Liberal Democrats are the last party to have formed a substantial opposition to the Labour-dominated Lewisham Council. 
Bobby Dean, candidate for Brockley, said:

“This area is my home so I’m very proud to be selected as the Liberal Democrat candidate for the Brockley by-election. In the campaign I’ll be looking to speak to as many people in the community as I can and then find solutions to the issues we have in this borough together.

“In particular, and as a member of Generation Rent, I feel personally motivated to do more to support people struggling in the private rental sector. One more Labour councillor is not going to make a difference to this council. We need to form a substantial opposition to them once again, so that they can be properly held to account.”

Will LibDems start to claw their way back to electoral respectability, picking up votes from disenfranchised centrists or will tuition fees haunt them forever?

Singing Croftfest, September 24th

Shamil writes:

As part of Croftfest 2016 (Saturday 24th), the Brockley Social Club (240 Brockley Road) will host the a party with the La La Piano Bar.

This lovetastic all-singing and all-dancing evening is an inclusive singing party for those who love great songs with soul. It's hosted by David Roper from 4 Poofs and a Piano and the voluptuous Lady La La and will feature a host of talented singers.

For details, click here.

New New Cross House

What once was green is now blue. The New Cross House is back - what do you think of the new look?

Deptford Market Yard

Little Nan's - Deptford Market Yard pioneers
This week, Little Nan's bar opened a permanent home in Deptford Market Yard, becoming part of the first wave of businesses to open in the new development next to Deptford Station.

The bar joined hairdressers The Box and African print fashion label Be London among the first wave of businesses to open underneath the arches. In the weeks ahead, they will be joined by an eclectic group including:

- The Cheese Truck - grilled cheese sandwich streetfood specialists
Childsdraw - illustrated fashion label
- Circusfit - circus and aerial fitness classes
Dirty Apron - deli and restaurant
English Flowerhouse - florists
- Frankie Goes to Bollywood - Bombay diner
Gitas Portal - African fashion
- Lomond Coffee - cafe
- Mama's Jerk - street food
- Plain Bear - hand-printed fashion
- Win and Ruby - lifestyle store

Together, they will create a new commercial heart for Deptford, giving it a critical mass and coherence that's been missing until now.

For more information about Deptford Market Yard, click here.

Children's Art Workshop, September 24th

Rebecca writes:

As part of Deptford X Festival, developer of the Deptford Foundry, Anthology, invites you to join a free workshop for an afternoon of laughter, play and art exploration.

Join artist Hannah Clayden to explore ideas around laughter and architecture, in a free family workshop that children will love! Come along for some large scale collaborative making as we re-imagine how buildings work, taking inspiration from Anthology’s Deptford Foundry. What kind of bridge could you build out of cocktail sticks? What if the tallest building in London was a giant slide? Parents are encouraged to get stuck in too!

Hannah Clayden’s art is primarily collaborative. Working across disciplines she deliberately blurs the boundary between art and everyday life, often using humour to take existing situations and re-imagine them. Through play and games, she encourages others to take risks, make mistakes and develop new ways of relating to each other.

This activity workshop is most suitable for children aged between 7 – 11 years. All children must be accompanied by an adult.

For details, click here.

Brockley Market's 5th Birthday, September 24th

Brockley Market turns five on Saturday 24th September and expects to welcome its 500,000th visitor on the day.

The market is a genuine local institution, which was created because local photographer Toby Allen thought Lewisham College's car park was a wasted asset at weekends. A doubtful Council gave it their blessing and residents thronged from day one, thanks to a carefully balanced mix of street food and produce and an atmosphere that encourages both community and explorers. Today, the market has over 40 food stalls.

The weekend's celebrations will include 5th birthday cake and treats from Kooky Bakes, live music from Balkan folk collective Benny and ‘The Cheese Grinder’, plus the first lucky 50 will get a goody bag.

Man found hanged in Ladywell Cemetery

A man was found hanged this morning in Brockley & Ladywell Cemeteries. The News Shopper reports:

The passerby called the police and the ambulance service after making the grim discovery in Ladywell cemetery at around 8.30am.

The victim was pronounced dead around 45 minutes later.

Nearby residents reported seeing emergency services in the area as people made their way to work.

A spokeswoman for the Met Police said the man's death is not being treated as suspicious.

Little Nan takes up residence in Deptford Market Yard

Tonight, Little Nan, the itinerant geriatric party planner, will be throwing open the doors of her permanent new home at Arch 14 in Deptford Market Yard.

The Yard is a new space right next to Deptford Station, with bars, shops and restaurants occupying the arches of the old railway ramp. Nan writes:

2 years ago, Little Nan's in Deptford got closed down overnight and we were forced to leave SE8 and Lewisham 'forever'.

Devastated, but not giving up on this dream, we searched and searched to find a new home for the bar, which turned into an amazing 2 year tour of London, popping up in so many amazing spaces and making lots of new friends along the way, whilst always spreading the love of Deptford across the capital. We Thank you London for loving us, and accepting Little Nan for who she is! 

2 years on and with petitions (along with some grovelling) this very naughty but nice 'as can be' Little Nan is BACK where she belongs, in her beloved DEPTFORD!! 

Thank you so much for everyone who has been involved in this crazy journey, you all know who you are!!! All roads lead back to Deptford!!! 

Come on Thursday 15th September for the official opening party, and if you can't make that we will partying all weekend till Sunday night... And partying for the next many years to celebrate Little Nan's home coming to DEPTFORD!!! 

Opening times for the launch weekend 
Thursday 15th: 6pm - 11pm
Friday 16th: 10am - 11pm 
Saturday 17th: 10am - 11pm 
Sunday 18th: 11am - 11pm

Croftfest 2016, September 24th

Phipps to unleash Green Inferno on Brockley

The Green Party has been quick to nominate its candidate for the Brockley ward by-election in October, which they believe is winnable. Her name is Phipps and she's been training all her life for this moment. They say:

"The Lewisham Green Party has selected Clare Phipps, a disability activist and Chair of the national Green Party, to contest the Brockley Ward by-election on 13 October.

"27 year old Phipps, who analyses public health data as part of a PhD, said that she was “really chuffed” to have been selected in “a highly winnable seat for the Greens” and that she had been “waiting years for the opportunity to fight back on behalf of residents."

The Corbyn-era Labour Party is partly a reaction to 'the Green surge' at the last election, encouraging them to tack left to hoover up the virtue-signallers, but Brockley's existing Green representative is the only non-Labour Councillor in Lewisham, so this will be interesting.

The Quilted Age

The appeal of quilting still eludes me, but the demos can't get enough, so I'm happy to share the news that the Number 57 Quilt Show will return on Sunday 16th & Monday 17th October to the Number 57 gallery on Loampit Hill.

Click here for details.

Proposed new electoral map lumps Brockley in with North Greenwich

The proposed new electoral map of the area
The Boundary Commission for England has proposed changes to the electoral map of South East London, which would carve up Greater Brockley, as the confluence point between the following three parliamentary constituencies:

- Greenwich and Deptford - St John's and much of the Brockley conservation area fall within this area, alongside Greenwich, Blackheath, Westcombe Park, Deptford and North Greenwich

- Lewisham and Catford - Ladywell and midtown Brockley will join Lewisham town centre, Catford and Downham

- Peckham and Lewisham West - Telegraph Hill, West Brockley and Crofton Park are grouped with Nunhead, Peckham, Forest Hill and Sydenham

The review is part of a process designed to cut the number of elected MPs from 650 to 600. The Commission will make its final recommendation to Parliament in 2018. Click here for the website.

Double pub opening in New Cross this weekend

This weekend in New Cross, we're shaping up for a Fuddled Friday, as two of the area's biggest pubs are aiming to reopen, after dramatic makeovers.

The White Hart has received some long-awaited love and is hoping to open this Friday, while The New Cross House, will reveal the results of its recent face-lift over the weekend. The golden age continues.



Salthouse Bottles, 12 Coulgate Street

In the future, there is only beer
Salthouse Bottles, the second of Brockley's new bottleshops, will reopen on Tuesday having enjoyed a good first weekend of trading.

Not for Salthouse Bottles the "cafe / gallery / deli / whatever" model that so many other local enterprises have employed - these guys are unapologetically focused on selling booze, boasting more than 200 types of beer, cider, spirits and wine.

The shop is open Tue-Fri 2-9 | Sat 12-9 | Sun 12-6.

For details, click here.

The Brocketeer

Eddie: A rocket?
Neville: Yeah. Like in the comic books.
- The Rocketeer

This spaceship - part Tintin, part V2 - set down in a garden in Brockley Road.

Alicia Kennedy resignation triggers Brockley by-election

There will be a Council by-election from Brockley ward, following the resignation of Labour councillor Baroness Alicia Kennedy.

Cllr Kennedy's departure will trigger a local vote on October 13th and Labour will select its candidate next week.

Click here for details.

Crofton Park train campaign meets today

Click here to visit the website

Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe faces five years in Iranian jail

Former Brockley resident, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, has been jailed for five years in Iran on secret charges.

The Guardian reports:

A British-Iranian mother detained in Iran for more than 150 days has been sentenced to five years in prison, dealing a heavy blow to her family and to the UK government’s efforts to normalise relations with Iran. 

Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, an employee of the Thomson Reuters Foundation, the news agency’s charitable arm, was sentenced on Tuesday on charges that remain secret, her husband, Richard Ratcliffe, said.

Zaghari-Ratcliffe, 37, who was accused of plotting to topple the Iranian regime, was arrested at Imam Khomeini airport on 3 April as she was trying to return to Britain after a holiday visiting family with her daughter, Gabriella.

Amnesty International describe the case as a 'complete travesty of justice.'

Brockley Hall

This illustration of Brockley Hall (on sale at the Crofton Park Book Shop in Crofton Park Library) depicts the 18th century house, demolished in the 1930s and replaced by Brockley Hall Road.

South East Makers Club, September 24-25

Brockley resident Helen Osgerby is organising the South East Makers Club writes:

To celebrate the final weekend of The London Design Festival 2016, South East Makers Club invites all design enthusiasts to head south and follow our trail through the creative streets and studios of South East London. The journey takes place on the 24th-25th September and spans Deptford, Brockley, New Cross, and Peckham.

The trail includes a host of workshops, exhibitions, films, a craft and design market and even a designer pub quiz hosted by Tom O'Dell and our media partners, South East London Journal.

Along the way, visitors will find an array of work by local designers and craftspeople including an installation by Sebastian Cox and Yeshen Venema, studio tours at Cockpit Arts Deptford and a ceramics exhibition; ‘Gradient: Experiments in Clay' at Simple Shape.

There will also be a programme of ‘Words & Workshops’ at Lewisham Arthouse, with an impressive lineup of speakers including Jay Osgerby, Tord Boontje and Eleanor Prichard. TheCurzon Cinema Goldsmiths will be showing Real to Reel: The Craft Film Festival, Copeland Park & Bussey Building host a weekend SE Makers' Market and a selection of Vanguard Court residents will open up their studios.

What better way to end the London Design Festival experience than discovering the design delights of the South East.

Click here for more details.

Lewisham Way pub threatened

For a long time, BCers have been predicting this would happen. And now it has. The owners of the Lewisham Way pub formerly known as Albertine's have applied to convert it for residential use.

First, the pub was run into the ground. Then it closed and an attempt to refurbish it was made. Then the building caught fire and parts of it were converted to residential use during its reconstruction. Then a cursory attempt was made to find a landlord. Now they want to convert it.

The Council has refused the application, but that's rarely the end of the story. The owners should forget their dreams of a cash grab and get on with the business of reopening this pub.

Pubs all over the area are being reborn, attracting new customers and thriving thanks to a bit of investment and competent management.

Despite being a main thoroughfare and good connections, Lewisham Way has precious few pubs and this location at the corner of Friendly Street would nicely complement Meze Mangal. A reopened Albertine's could easily succeed and a growing local population needs more communal spaces, rather than fewer.

Cake Tempest

Brockley's answer to UB40, Kate Tempest, launches her new album at the Rivoli Ballroom later this month, with a live performance for the BBC.

New Chandos

The Chandos, the journeyman pub on 56 Brockley Rise, has been given an impressive makeover, which extends to a handsome new pub garden. It got some minor remedial work last year but this is on a far more ambitious scale. The photo is from a set on SE23life. Click here for the works.

New and revamped pubs and bars are opening at the rate of one a week at the moment.

Brockley Nature Reserve Open Day

It's been a while since I last plugged the Brockley Nature Reserve - an obscure, inaccessible and beautiful wilderness on Vesta Road - so for those of you who haven't been reading religiously for the last nine years, it's worth mentioning that its next open day will be on Sunday, September 25th, 1-4pm.

The 4.2 hectare green space has a discrete entrance near the railway bridge and is also known as New Cross Gate Cutting. My insistence on calling it by its proper Brockley name used to cause outrage among the New Cross massive, but we've all moved on from that kind of petty provincialism now that we all have microbreweries and gastropubs coming out the wazoo. Nothing less than the wrong sort of teabag will trigger that kind of fury these days.

Deptford X 2016


Deptford X is London’s longest-running contemporary art festival – a showcase for emerging contemporary artists, with a strong foundation of support from art-world professionals.

Deptford X takes place in multiple locations across Deptford over 10 days from Friday 23rd September to Sunday 2nd October 2016.

Festival Director Patrick Henry worked with five top curators to choose exciting young artists whose work will be celebrated this year.

For details, click here.

Lemongrass supergrass

New Cross, you've changed. Police were called to local cafe Birdie Num Nums by a customer upset that he had been served lemon and ginger tea instead of the lemongrass and ginger tea that he ordered. The Standard reports:

Sevjan Melissa, 30, who owns Birdie Num Nums in Lewisham Way, New Cross, said staff gave the customer a lemon and ginger tea instead of the lemongrass and ginger tea that he ordered.

She claims that when the man complained staff apologised and offered him a full refund but he was unsatisfied and started writing a TripAdvisor review while still in the café.

Ms Melissa claims that when she asked him to leave, the man then called the police.

However, the customer, Roberto Lattarulo, a 33-year-old recruitment manager for a healthcare regulator, has defended his actions, and claims he was not given a proper reason for being asked to leave.

Mr Lattarulo, who lives in Lewisham and was visiting the café with his girlfriend, told the Standard: "I wanted a lemongrass and ginger tea, it's not something you find commonly in cafés, so I was quite surprised, but instead I got a lemon and ginger teabag.

"If you haven't got something, you tell the customer you haven't got what they ordered and then offer them an alternative, but they just brought the wrong thing."

It unclear at this time where the Ghetto Boys and Peckham Boys stand on herbal tea, but this is a fault line with the potential to tear communities apart.

Thank you to Monkeyboy and Brockley Nicola for alerting me.

Brockley Central Label Cloud